battles

God has been teaching me so much. He is so good and so faithful. Lately, I have been wrestling with my flesh intensely. Most of the time I don't wrestle hard enough or long enough. I give in too soon. I do not put on the proper protection. Sometimes I feel like I suck at being a child of the King. My deepest and purest desire is to be a man that God sees as one who has a heart for Him. I want to be a man that God can entrust with tasks, both great and small. I want to desire Him more than anything here on the earth, or in the heavens above. I want to want Him more than food or water.
It is easier said than done, isn't it? Today, I feel defeated. But I am earnestly praying that God will continue to mold me and make me into what He wants me to be. May I always look to Him. May my gaze be on Him alone.

Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. (Psalm 73:25,26)